The new biography on Steve Jobs comes out today and if you’re like me, you can’t wait to NOT get your hands on it. Nevertheless, there are a few interesting revelations, like the story of his biological father. See, Jobs was adopted but he used to go to a restaurant that his biological father managed. Thing is, he didn’t know the manager was the Darth Vader to his Luke, the Thulsa Doom to his Conan, the Mufassa to his Simba… that’s my James Earl James tribute. When he found out that the manager was his father, did Jobs try to forge a relationship? Nah, he decided that he, as he put it, “didn’t trust him”. Take Madonna; she’s one of 8 siblings and, obviously, she’s the most successful of them all, having made a fortune doing… I honestly don’t know how she did it, but she did. It’s not like she came from nothing; her family owns a vineyard (Ciccone Vineyards, if you care) and the whole family has something to do with it, including her older brother Anthony… at least until about a year and a half ago. Anthony came upon some unspecified ‘hard times’ and got the boot. Since then, he’s been living homeless under a bridge while his sister pretends to be British. And then there’s a family in Lewiston, Maine; an 80- year- old member of the family died recently, so the rest of the family went through the process of going through his personal affects. Imagine their surprise when they found the remains of his girlfriend in a storage unit. Did I mention that the ‘girlfriend’ disappeared in 1983? Did I mention that he didn’t rent the storage unit until 1992? Creepy? Yes. Our question: WHAT SECRET DID YOUR FAMILY KEEP FROM YOU?
At age 13, he found out that his “cousin” is actually his sister… why wouldn’t someone share that with you?
Didn’t find out who his real father was until he was in his 30’s… it’s not like he was adopted, it’s that his mother lied about who it was. Why? She was collecting child support for 18 years from a guy who she fooled into believing that he owed her money. Ladies, seriously… cut that sh*t out! Bad enough you suckered a guy into giving you money you didn’t deserve, but you lied to your own f**king kid too? Pathetic
On his death bed, his grandfather confessed to being the getaway driver in a SERIES of bank robberies… illegal but pretty cool
Found out his uncle is gay… doesn’t everyone have a gay uncle?
His father won a Tom Cruise look- alike contest and won a modeling contract while in the Air Force
Didn’t know he was adopted until he was 16- years- old
Just found out he has 3 sisters and his father is still alive… how does that happen?
His grandfather died and found out he was gay… the mother told everyone. They were married for 50 years
Found out he was the result of an affair… not a one night stand, an affair. As a result, he’s never met his father and his mother is a but slutty
His great uncle was a high level Nazi… yours too?!?
Found out his father was married when he knocked- up his mother… the problem was, he wasn’t married to his mother
Call of the day: she was born with both sets of genitalia and didn’t get the gender- establishing surgery until she was 5… she just found out recently. Her boyfriend didn’t know, so we had her tell him while she was still on the phone with us. He took it well, but he didn’t strike us as the brightest bulb on the chandelier of life. He actually seemed a little confused. Poor guy
Alright bitches, the Ravens are on MNF tonight, so I’ve gotsta go!
Until tomorrow, shine your gold and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”
If you’re reading this blog, Harold Camping was wrong… again. You remember Harold; he’s the phony religious “prophet” who bilked his (surprisingly large number of) followers out of tens of millions of dollars when he convinced these idiots that the world would end on Saturday, May 21st. Yea, THAT guy. Well, after collecting everyone’s money, he explained that his initial prediction for the Rapture was wrong based on faulty math. According to Harold, Biblical math is different than regular math. Not to worry, after a few adjustments Harold says that TODAY, October 21st will be the day the world ends. Wrong again, my man. Then there’s Moammar Gadhafi; a few months ago he did an interview with Christian Arampour (or whatever the hell her name is) where she asked him about the Libyan rebellion. Gadhafi, looking sharp as always in his sunglasses and flowing, pastel robes (???) explained that EVERY world leader faces opposition but he wasn’t worried because, as he put it, his countrymen “love” him and they would “protect” him. We found out yesterday, after they found him in a sewer drain, pulled him out, beat his ass in the streets and put a bullet (or two) in his head. That, my friends, is not love. Love is the kind of thing you find at a wedding. Just two months ago Kim Kardashian and some idiot got married. The whole thing was televised on E! Network and everyone with no life sat around and watched it. That was about 8 weeks ago… they’re filing for divorce. Didn’t see THAT coming! This leads to today’s question: WHEN WERE YOU THE WRONGEST?
Yes, we KNOW, ‘wrongest’ is not a word.
Took his first wife back after she kicked her drug habit… she hadn’t kicked her drug habit and he ended with a record and $25,000 in debt
Decided to drink Jagermeister AFTER midnight… never a good idea. Jagermeister might not be a good idea any time!
Had a strained muscle on his inner thigh so he decided to put Icey- Hot on it… TERRIBLE idea
Bought his “dream car”, a Mitsubishi 3000 GT VR 4… so what went wrong? It had 51,000 miles on it, or as he put it, right before everything broke
Was the wrongest when she left a message for boyfriend #1 on the phone of boyfriend #2… I remember that message; just heartbreaking
The time he didn’t listen to his girlfriend when she warned him not to hang out with a certain guy. Should have listened because he got 15 years for armed robbery… he’s on year 9. Called us from the Stafford Creek Correctional Facility where we are, according to him, very popular. So now I’m pushing the idea of doing a show from there, like Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison
Beat up the guy who broke into his car… he was ‘wrongest’ because he beat up the wrong guy… that’s a thing
Thought his live-in girlfriend of 3 months was 18… not only was she NOT 18, she was a runaway. He didn’t know this, of course, so imagine his surprise when the cops confronted them at the Puyallup Fair. The ONLY reason he didn’t get arrested is because this girl had duped several other men
Took a $500 dare to pierce his junk… not that big of a deal, but the piercing became infected; that’s bad. Got worse when it swelled up like “a balloon”, but it got the worstest (I know that’s not a word too) when the doctors had to CHOP OFF THE TOP! We nicknamed his junk the Headless Horsemen
OK, the weekend is here and I’m ready to enjoy it. Do the same, but remember (seriously) the Viaduct is going down for the next 9 days and traffic will be F**KED UP all over town. Eep it in mind, keep your road rage to a minimum and come back Monday. We can all complain about it then.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”
Maybe you saw the news this morning and thought Carlos Santana or Gene Simmons had been killed… but no, that was Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi. After 42 years of ruling Libya with an iron fist and months of bloody clashes with rebel forces, Gadhafi was killed. There are conflicting reports, but rumor has it that he was hiding in a ditch or something. Who knows? We know Saddam Hussein was hiding in a hole when American forces found his hairy ass, and Osama bin Laden was living large in a mansion in Pakistan because he knew American forces were looking for him in Afghanistan. The point being, he was looking to avoid American forces at all costs… and I think we know why. Most of us aren’t quite the pathetic, ego- maniacal douche- bags that dictators and terrorists are, and most of us don’t have entire countries looking to hunt us down, but all of us, in the course of our lives, screwed up or screwed someone over and make it a point to avoid crossing paths with the offended parties. Whether you owe someone money, slept with somebody else’s girlfriend (or boyfriend) or just said some choice words you now regret, there’s someone out there you hope to NOT run into. Today we wanted to know, OTHER than an ex: WHO’S THE ONE PERSON ON THE PLANET WHO YOU SHOULD AVOID AT ALL COSTS AND WHY?
Her own mother… not because her mother is an overbearing bitch or anything, but because she’s incontinent and refuses to wear an adult diaper. In other words, she avoids her mother because her mother is a poop- in- the- pants machine. I get it.
His boss… his boss is a douche, but more than that, he doesn’t like his boss getting too close to him because it’s likely that the boss will smell the booze on his breath. Seems strange to me… never had a job where I wouldn’t just inform my co-workers that I’m still drunk from the night before. On the other hand, this particular guy works in security and I work in the farthest thing from it
A specific co- worker who just won’t shut the hell up when he sees you. There’s one at every work place
Wants to avoid the “dirty” DEA agent he had to deal with… personally, I try to avoid DEA agents whether they’re ‘dirty’ or on the level, but that’s just me.
His ex’s father… his ex moved in with him on her 18th birthday and her father was none too happy about it. We don’t know how things ended or what went wrong, but he still feels compelled to avoid her father. Probably a good idea
His ex- wife’s mother… quite the opposite of above; when his ex announced that she wanted a divorce, her mother started hitting on him. Said she’s good looking, but it ain’t right and she won’t stop the pursuit
His sister’s ex… he was a meth addict AND physically abused his sister. If he sees him, he’ll kick his ass
Needs to avoid his “friend” who’s been in prison for the last year because he’s been f**king his girlfriend for the last 12 months. This is NOT going to end well
OK bitches, I’m outta here for the day!
Have yourselves a fine evening… or don’t. Your choice.
Until tomorrow, smile for the camera and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study on Monday that estimates the cost of alcohol abuse with regard to medical expenses. Truth- be- told, we didn’t care about that, but what DID catch our attention was the CDC’s definition of ‘binge drinking’. According to them, binge drinking is the consumption of four or five alcoholic beverages on one occasion… or as WE call it, pre- funking. We drink that much in preparation to go out drinking, so according to the CDC… and our wives and girlfriends… we all have a drinking problem. Oddly enough, I’m hung over as I write this. So that’s the CDC; meanwhile, the folks behind the Gallup poll recently came to the conclusion that 86% of American workers are overweight or obese. How did they come to that conclusion? They asked 100,000 people for their weight and height and if they weren’t within whatever the “magic number” is, they were labeled fat. The question is, if 86% of workers are overweight, is it really ‘over weight’, are they over weight or are they the new average? Who knows? Anyway, this leads to today’s question: WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT IS AVERAGE, WHERE ARE YOU ABOVE AND WHERE ARE YOU BELOW?
Today proved to be BELOW average. For reasons I can’t explain, today’s show spiraled into weirdness. We thought we had a pretty simple question but somehow the floodgates of strange opened and we were I it all day. That being said, while were pissing and moaning all day about the oddness of it all, the consensus from the listeners was that today was one of our best shows ever. Seems that the more we’re derailed and the more bizarre and agonizing the callers, the better the show. Who knew?
While we appreciate the sentiment, we felt like our brains were melting into quivering puddles of mush.
On that note I must say adios. My brain needs to recover!
Our friends at ‘Cracked’ have done the research and come up with “11 Useful Products Too Embarrassing to Use”. Fellas… ever screw up your goatee while shaving? If so, the “Goatee Saver” might be the thing you need, but like Cracked suggests, your pride will probably prevent it from ever happening. Ladies, ever have to go to the bathroom but the line is longer than you can hold your flow, or you can’t find a bathroom in the first place? The Women’s P-EZ Travel Urinal lets you pee in your pants without any of that pesky wetness. Wait, what? No buyers? Due to who you are there’s at least one product you HAVE to buy that’s embarrassing because what you buy speaks volumes about what’s going on in your life. Something as small as Odor- Eaters tell the world that your feet stink. Bean- O and Gas- X scream “I fart to the point that it hurts!”, while buying Depends shares the secret that you sh*t yourself with alarming regularity. Vagisil quietly announces that your ‘mossy cottage’ smells like Red Lobster and Rid Shampoo reveals that you have crabs AT THE MOMENT! No one buys Rid to be preventive, you buy Rid because your b*lls are CURRENTLY itching. It might be humiliating, but it’s necessary. Today we wanted to know: WHAT’S THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING YOU HAVE TO PURCHASE AT THE CHECK- OUT LINE AND WHAT PRODUCT DO YOU HAVE AT HOME THAT YOU HOPE NO ONE ELSE EVER SEES?
Away we go:
It wasn’t for him, but when he was 14 he was sent to the store to buy stool softener for his grandfather… WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU: “My poops are hurting my butthole”.
Uses women’s shaving cream for his face…WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU: “My face is as sensitive as a vagina”
She gets embarrassed to check romantic novels out of the library… WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU: “I’m lonely and I masturbate a lot… to Fabio”
Sex lube and Nair… WHAT IT SAYS: “Come in through the back door, but let me clear the rain forest between my legs first!”
Once bought a box of condoms and summer sausage at the same time. Wasn’t thinking about it until he got to the check-out line and got ‘the look’. WHAT IT SAYS: “I’m into some really weird sh*t!”
Owns pomegranate scented dish soap… WHAT IT SAYS: “Never tried a penis I didn’t like”
Buys Enzyte penis enlargement pills… WHAT IT SAYS: speaks for itself
Vagisil… here’s the thing, he buys it for HIM! He’s not circumcised and gets yeast infections (excuse me while I vomit). WHAT IT SAYS: “It’s not for me, I’m a guy! Why would I have a yeast infection?”
Rid… when he bought it, he was trying (to no avail) to convince the cashier that it was for his 2 non- existent kids. WHAT IT SAYS: “My satchel is infested with living creatures. I sleep with dirty, dirty whores.”
There was this time she bought chocolate ice cream and menstrual pads. Neither is bad on its own, but together it says: “Don’t bother me for a week, I’m not in the f**king mood!”
He had to run to Wal- Mart to buy his wife an enema (which, on a side note, is so incredibly sexy)… WHAT IT SAYS: “My ass is like a malfunctioning cement mixer”.
Bought a DNA test, but it was for her, NOT to determine who the father of her children is… WHAT IT SAYS: “I want to determine who the father of my children is!”
He’s 25- years- old and has to buy Depends… not for him, but for his Great Dane who leaves “murder scenes” around the house when she goes into heat… WHAT IT SAYS: “It’s for me because I can’t control my sphincter”.
Bought an electric turkey carver and a pregnancy test in one stop… WHAT IT SAYS: “If I’m pregnant, I’m taking care of this myself”
Happened to purchase Monistat and halibut in one trip… the cashier made a comment… WHAT IT SAYS: “If the Monistat doesn’t work, maybe people will think it’s the halibut”.
Doctor prescribed Aldara for a medical condition he has… the thing is, he doesn’t have anal warts, but Aldara is for anal warts… WHAT IT SAYS… “I have the most disgusting ass you’ve ever seen.”
Went with his father to Lover’s Package (bad idea) to help him select a SEX TOY for HIS MOTHER (worse idea). Everyone assumed they were a couple, but he made it worse when he said, ‘no, it’s my dad’
SIT AND SPIN
Jolene came in today to share with us the top 10 prog- rock bands… according to Rolling Stone Magazine. As a prog- rock fan, I was loving it. Here’s a link to her list:
OK, that’s a wrap.
Until tomorrow, rock on, rock out and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”s
The folks at Daily Finance and Yahoo Finance have each released a list of ways that retailers and manufacturers trick us into blowing money on their products.Â Some of it revolves around marketing phrases, some of it is product placement, but all of it is designed to get us to part with our money.Â Theyâre not running a âscamâ, theyâre just trying to appeal to psychological cues that make us think weâre getting a dealâ¦ so it IS kinda like a scam, but itâs legal.Â Itâs like those late- night TV ads for kitchen products; use a few choice words to convince people that they NEED the product, then provide them with something that isnât nearly as good or effective as advertised.Â Happens all the time and it happens to all of us.Â It could be as simple as the Shake- Weight, buying magazine subscriptions from those teens that roll around in vans or as big as investing with Bernie Madoff.Â Today we wanted to know:Â WHAT SCAM SUCKERED YOU IN?
Got locked into an 18.5% mortgage on his mobile homeâ¦ that just SOUNDS ridiculous
Scammed by his girlfriendâ¦ they started dating 1 year ago when she was a size 8; sheâs now a size 16
Took a job selling a fire- retardant liquid that protects furniture and upholsteryâ¦ complete scam, of course, and the sh*t didnât work
Like a lot of kids, he bought himself some Sea Monkeys believing that they were actually monkeys that come from the oceanâ¦ and like a lot of kids, he was disappointed to find out that theyâre shrimp
Invested $140,000 of his inheritance into a friendâs tattoo shopâ¦ failed miserably
The Girl Scoutsâ¦ doesnât like their cookies, which is OK, but he keeps buying their cookies because he canât conscious the idea of telling them no
His girlfriend fell for the âcome by and get a free laptopâ scamâ¦ it was a police stingâ¦ she had a warrant out for her arrest
A lot of people suffered scams at the hand of the early days of eBay.Â I know eBay has taken care of most of that, but I was very apprehensive to ever buy anything online.Â Then I discovered the ease of online shopping and Iâm all about it.
Every year, we do a thing called the âGay Poolâ, a completely immature thing, but fun and thereâs money on the lineâ¦ $100 American dollars.Â Hereâs how it works:Â in January we all select three celebrities we believe will come out of the closet in the next year.Â For the second time in five years, Ben the Psycho Muppet has won.Â He selected the new Mr. Spock, Zachary Quinto and sure enough, we get the news that Zach is out.Â Congratulations to Zach for manning up and Ben for winning $100.Â Hereâs whatâs weird about itâ¦ look at the pictures of Ben and Zach.Â Weird, man.
OK, Iâm out bitches.Â Have a bunch of crap I need to get done tonight so Iâm saying adios.
Until tomorrow, kiss a crook and STAY BEAUTIFUL!â
So, you can’t sleep at night and you don’t know why. Your lack of sleep is effecting your ability to do basic day- to- day things. You’d give anything to sleep like a normal person… does that include aggression, acts of aggression, thoughts of hurting yourself and hallucinations. If so, Lunesta might be for you. Are you depressed? No one wants to be depressed, but would you trade your depression for fever, confusion, heart palpitations, uncontrollable muscle movements, sudden numbness and/ or problems with speech? If so, try Abilify. How about this; would you rather suffer from suicidal thoughts, hostility, agitation, hallucinations and/ or fainting, or deal with anxiety? If you prefer the laundry- list of issues, take Ativan… you might go f**king crazy, but you won’t be anxious. Side effects, the unfortunate aftermath of doing something beneficial, whether it’s beneficial for the mind, body or soul. Everyone enjoys food, hell, you need it to survive, but, inevitably, there’s some food you enjoy that comes back to haunt you in some way; heartburn, the sh*ts, farting, etc. A lot of people want to be famous, but one guaranteed side effect is that your personal and private life cease to exist and everything you do becomes public fodder. Maybe you’re in a band, a noble pursuit to be sure, but if you don’t “make it”, the universal side effect seems to be a great lack of money. Everything comes with a side effect and today we discussed: BASED ON WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO, WHAT SIDE EFFECT DO YOU TOLERATE?
Hell, you name it; I LOVE me a good milkshake, however, I’ll fart for the next 20 hours and finish it off with a monster sh*t. The whole process is a painful one, but I suffer through it every chance I get. Love milkshakes. I also love playing bass but I have a deep- seeded need to play very loud and very hard… the side effect is having to pay for repairs or new basses more than anyone I know or have met. I just can’t play softly… not how music moves me… but it gets expensive.
As for you:
Loves “crappy” (meaning DELICIOUS) food… the side effect is his requirement to work out religiously to avoid expanding like the Universe after the Big Bang
She has type 1 diabetes, which is easily controlled with insulin… her side effect is her inability or unwillingness to take her insulin on a regular basis
Loves, loves, loves jalapenos… 12 hours later it’s like his butt was napalmed
Allergic to grains in alcohol but gets “just drunk enough to not care about the side effects”… well played, sir
Enjoys weed and tolerates the short term memory loss… how do you KNOW you have short- term memory loss?
Enjoys Raisin Bran cereal, in spite of the fact that within 20 minutes, his ass sounds like stampeding buffalo
Because she LOVES sex, she tolerates the “D- bag” guys later… works both ways, sweetheart.
Loves playing soccer and dodge ball… side effects include bruises and pain
Gets diarrhea when he eats too much pizza… he eats a lot of pizza
Trains MMA… has had staph, MRSA, ringworm and has cold sores on his back… don’t know if he’s single, ladies
OK bitches, that’s a wrap. That kind of day… that kind of month, really, but what can you do?
A guy by the name of Curry Todd is a Tennessee lawmaker and he’s best known in his home state for being the man who sponsored a bill to allow people to carry a handgun into a bar or restaurant that serves alcohol. The stipulation is that you can’t consume alcohol if your gun is on you. Wouldn’t you know it, Curry was pulled over for a DUI and got an additional charge for having his handgun on him while intoxicated… a result of the law he created. Reminds us of Phillip Contos, a New York motorcycle rider who died of head injuries… while participating in a ride to protest New York’s mandatory helmet law. The irony here, in case you missed it, is that he would have survived if he’d been wearing a helmet. That’s how it goes sometimes; we know the risks, we hear the warnings and we ignore them, only to discover that yea, maybe you SHOULDN’T stick your hand in an animal’s cage or yea, objects in mirror ARE closer than they appear! WHAT WARNING DID YOU IGNORE, ONLY TO LEARN LATER WHY YOU WERE WARNED IN THE FIRST PLACE?
It’s not a rule I live by, but notoriously, I ignore everyone’s advice and warnings. The reason is because I’m remarkably stupid and end up in trouble a lot more than anyone should. I know I SHOULD listen, but I don’t, never have and it’s unlikely that I ever will.
As for you:
Worked as a firefighter, but didn’t heed the advice of wearing a mask when moving a dead body… now he knows better
Lost fingers in a wood chipper after ignoring the warning that says NOT to place any part of your body in the machine WHILE IT’S IN OPERATION
Blew up part of his Face WITH FIREWORKS… described himself as looking like the Phantom of the Opera
Three years ago he ignored the expiration date on his condoms… today he’s the proud father of a 2- year- old. Congratulations
Got drunk at a sounders game and tapped a cop on the shoulder, the cop warned him not to touch him again… he didn’t listen, so after an abrupt headlock and scolding, he was thrown out of the stadium
Ignored the sign on the Murphy bed that warned that it was heavy… as a result, she got smashed on the head
Took 8 hits of acid and had an experience akin to doing 8 hits of acid
Walked down the stairs in roller blades… it ended about the way you assume it did
He was warned that the girl had gonorrhea, but did he listen? No, she was SOOOOO hot. Took pills for the next week to kill the burn
We talked to Seattle’s own superhero, Phoenix Jones, yesterday, where he attempted to set the record straight about what happened early Sunday morning in Belltown. To recap, Phoenix and his sidekicks were patrolling the streets when he witnessed, what he perceived, to be a fight among 7 or 8 people. Long- story short, he peppered- sprayed four of them and was subsequently arrested for assault. He’ll be arraigned on Thursday. It’s no secret that Belltown is where stupid people go to express their stupidity, and that’s why Phoenix and company frequent the area. It’s also why the neighborhood itself set up a citizen’s patrol. Instead of only complaining about it, they organized an effort to actually do something about it. Meanwhile, in cities across America, including here in Seattle, the Occupy Wall Street movement has gained momentum, although it’s produced pretty much no results. Nevertheless, like the Tea Party Movement before them, the ‘occupiers’ are trying to create some kind of change that benefits the Average Joe and not just those who contribute six digits to election campaigns. And now, outside of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, a group of homeless, and their benefactors, are protesting FEMA funding cuts to their shelter. Crime, corporate greed, basic human rights, it’s the stuff that’s always in the news, but these people are fed up enough to actually make an attempt to do something about it. Today’s question: EVERYONE GETS MAD AT SOMETHING; WHAT’S THE ISSUE THAT PISSES YOU OFF THE MOST AND HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
Little dogs in grocery stores… I’m sure it happens in places outside of Seattle, but I’ve never seen it personally. People are very weird about their dogs here, believe they should be able to take them any and everywhere
Over population… hasn’t and won’t have kids. There are a lot of arguments to be made about over- population, then you look at the population centers around the globe and you realize that it’s not over- population, it’s a collective inability to take advantage of the space we have
People who tailgate… we’re assuming he means drivers and not people who enjoy multiple cocktails before a sporting event
The cost of health care… nothing he can do, so he tries to stay healthy. The cost of health care is ridiculous, but it’s more ridiculous the lengths at which insurance companies will go to avoid to provide the service you paid for
Politics in general…. Resents the phoniness of it all
Other musicians in Guitar Center… turn up loud and play for sh*t
The Child Support system in Washington state… the issue is, the state charges what they charge for profit, not to take care of the kids
I could go on, but I’m running out of time… not unlike Keiffer Sutherland on every episode of ‘24’.
SIT AND SPIN
Today we covered 16 musicians best known for their accessories. Seriously.
Today is Columbus Day, a day we credit Christopher Columbus with discovering America. Oddly enough, he was in the Bahamas and thought he was in India, but we’ve spent the last 500- plus years saying he discovered America. He didn’t, but the guy got a whole holiday in his honor. I’m not dogging our boy Chris, and to be fair, the guy who ‘invented’ bubble gum wasn’t out to create a tasty treat, he was trying to create a synthetic form of rubber for the war effort… and the people behind Viagra weren’t interested in bringing sexy back to nursing homes, they were worried about your blood pressure. Subsequently, I didn’t actually discover Guns and Roses all those years ago, but among my friends, I’m the guy who discovered them. On the other hand, my buddy Paul ‘discovered’ Soundgarden. Here in Seattle, Miles ‘discovered’ Red Mill burgers, Ted discovered ‘The Wire’ and Ben discovered that dogs can be ‘yeasty’. Download the poddamn podcast to understand what I’m talking about. Anyway, sometimes you discovered something that you and your friends didn’t know about and you feel that you have to share. Maybe it’s a bans, a restaurant, a game or a website, today we wanted to know: IN YOUR LITTLE WORLD, WHAT DO YOU GET CREDITED FOR DISCOVERING?
The Quesadilla Factory in Centralia… looks like sh*t on the outside, but inside are X- Boxes, pinball machines and some really good food, so if you’re in Centralia, check it out
Was the first of his friends to discover the joy that is online shopping via Amazon or e-Bay. I only discovered the joys this summer. I knew they existed, but I never bought anything through them, but as I get pickier and more particular about what I want, it seems that I can find exactly what I want online
He introduced his friends to ‘Breaking Bad’ (which I need to see), ‘Seinfeld’ (which I’ve seen plenty of) and us, the Men’s Room
The Sloop in Ballard… he likes to drink (because he’s a good man) but when it comes to drinking, certain places suit you and your buddies better than others and the Sloop hits the spot for him
Discovered Japanese iced coffee… I have absolutely no idea what Japanese iced coffee is but it’s either a delicious drink or a sex move
Was the first of his friends to realize that women share the details of their sex lives with all of their friends. Keep that in mind, gentleman and perform well
Randy’s Rolling Papers… a paper with a wire in it for easier joint passing and holding of the roach… for tobacco use only, of course
Sea Magic fertilizer… if you’ve got a garden, this is, apparently, the way to go
OK bitches, I’ve gotta go for now. Much to do and less time to do it than I’d like.
Until tomorrow, find a crook and protect them and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”